STOP PRAYING YOUR DAUGHTERS SHOULD MARRY SUCCESSFUL MEN/PRESIDENTS…!!!

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Some years ago, I was with a group of friends, all girls. This well meaning woman came into our midst, and in an attempt to reign “blessings” on us, she said “I see wives of Commissioners, I see wives of Doctors, I see wives of Governors, I see wives of Senators, I see wives of Ministers, I see wives of Presidents”, in Jesus name I pray”.

Half of the girls said amen! I didn’t.

I decided to tell her, “Mummy, thanks you for the prayers, but didn’t you see Commissioners, Doctors, Senators, Governors, Ministers, and Presidents? Mummy, would you tell a group of boys that you see husbands of Governors, husbands of Ministers, husbands of Senators, husbands of Presidents? Then why say that to girls?”

And this brings me to the point.

Ours is a society that raises the girl child for a man. Almost every single stage of the life of a girl is aimed at raising her to make a good wife. The ultimate aim in the life of a girl child is marriage.
It wouldn’t be so bad if the boy child was also raised for a woman. It wouldn’t be so bad if the society puts in as much efforts in preparing the boy child to be a husband as much as they put in in preparing the girl child to be a wife.

We give girls the impression that their success has to be linked to marriage.
I will never tell my daughter that she will be a wife of the president, just same way I won’t tell my son that he will be husband of the president. I will tell my sons and daughters that they will be Presidents.

We need to stop killing the zeal and drive of the girl child.

When you tell your daughter she can be wife of President, you push her to aspire to marry and ambitious man. But when you tell her that she can be president, you push her to be ambitious.

This is psychological. My parents never told me that I will marry a successful man or a president. Even till this very day, my parents still tell my sisters and I that we can be Presidents and Governors. Exactly the way they tell my brother.

If you can’t tell your son that he would be husband of president, STOP telling your daughter that she will be wife of president.

There is nothing wrong with being a wife of president, just as much as there’s nothing wrong with being the husband of the president.

Dear parents of this generation,

The past generation didn’t get it quite right, and we need to do better.
While you raise you girls to make good wives, also remember to raise your sons to make good husbands. Because those your daughters will end up with those your sons.

Also, let your girl understand that marriage is only one of the many things to accomplish in life. Tell her she can be president, tell her that people like Angela Merkel, Theresa May, Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala are female humans with one head each. That these people achieved much more than just marriage.

Tell her that even though you wish her to get married someday, that her happiness and sanity come first. That she shouldn’t stop living just in order to be married.

Tell her that her primary purpose on earth is NOT to exist for a man.

Tell her to be bold.

Tell her to remain true to herself.

Make her understand that she isn’t jollof rice or ice cream, so she can’t be liked by everyone. Tell her not to live to be liked, because no matter how much she tries, she can’t please everyone, even in death.

Make her understand that SHE IS NOT IN ANY SINGLE WAY INFERIOR TO A MAN. That all humans are equal as human, irrespective of gender, and deserve equal opportunities.

Let her understand that weakness is not femininity.

Teach her to have a healthy self-esteem.

Teach her to love and respect, teach her that she also deserves love and respect, and nothing less.

Happy international day of the girl child everyone. ❤️❤️❤️

By Nkechi Bianze.

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I TEACH MY DAUGHTER NEVER TO ALLOW ME, OTHERS, TOUCH HER VAGINA- Dad

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MIAHWRA begins her WHAT ARE YOU TEACHING YOUR DAUGHTERS? series tonight.

It is going to be a running programme geared to inspire everyone on how to raise healthier daughters, girls and women in families which will certainly impact positively on our societies.

The first quote/story tonight, is written by a daddy. Here is what he and his wife are teaching their three year old on how to guard against rape:

“Never allow anybody to wash or touch your vagina or vulva, not even daddy or Mommy”. To encourage our three-year- old daughter to adhere to this rule, we ask her to wash her vaginal herself, while we bathe the rest of her body.

Written by Okoghenun Joseph Oziegbe

So, #WhatAreYouTeachingYourDaughter

To share your quotes/story on what you are teaching your daughter, girls and women around you, kindly inbox us here on facebook or send:

EMAIL: miahwra@gmail.com

PHONE: 08087346426

Thanks for reading and sharing with ypur contacts.

Sincerely,

MIAHWRA

WHAT ARE YOU TEACHING YOUR DAUGHTERS…???

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VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION…!!!

MIAHWRA WILL BE STARTING A SERIES OF STORIES/QUOTATIONS WITH THE THEME: WHAT ARE YOU TEACHING YOUR DAUGHTERS?

#WhatAreYouTeachingYourDaughters

Do you want to share with us and the world what you are teaching the girls, daughters and women in your life?

Kindly send as a quote or story what you are teaching your daughters, or other girls and women via inbox

Or

To:

EMAIL: miahwra@gmail.com

PHONE: 08087346426

Join us, let’s make this world safer for women and children.

Thanks for reading and sharing with your friends and contacts.

With Warm Regards,

MIAHWRA

WOMEN: STOP PRETENDING SO AS TO GET MARRIED…!!!

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The truth is that time and season changes and if you aren’t aware, you will be doing your self a great loss.

During the time of our parents; The women where expected to act dumb to get married which showed sign of humility or a wife material.

Then women had little privileges of going to school and impacting the world.

They couldn’t funtion and attend important meetings of their interest which affect the community or their clan.

But now in my time; if you are a woman who is smart and intelligent but pretend to be dumb because you want to get married, you are doing yourself a great loss.

Because the time has changed!

A good man aren’t scared of a smart woman.

Infact he is more attracted to her and proud to show her to his world.

So quit hiding that gift or potential you have inside of you.

The world is awaiting your greatness.

BY Ajiduah Jessica

PARENTS BEWARE: HERE IS HOW RAPE IS BIRTHED!!!

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I was at Agbole this afternoon when I saw a girl who couldn’t be more than 10 accompanying a woman I assume was her mother to a spot where they lay down some vegetables they wanted to sell.

The girl apparently wanted to pee because the next thing I knew she came and squatted right by the gutter beside the car I was in and did her business. Right beside me, she partly undressed before I could say a word.
Of course I averted my eyes but I felt so uncomfortable.

This was an open road, a big area where anyone can watch her. This is how she was raised obviously and while I’m not going to abuse and attack her mother, I can’t say this was wise either.

In case, you’re wondering what the harm was, there were motorcyclists nearby waiting for passengers less then five feet away and one of them was looking intently at this girl. I mean really looking. It was just wrong but her mother didn’t bother to scold her. This is an accident waiting to happen, to put it mildly.

He looked up and around and I made move in the car so he would catch my eye. He did and I stared him down till he looked away. Anytime he tried to look at her I’d move and he’d look at me. He got so uncomfortable he stopped altogether.

I know the chances of the people reading this having daughters, siblings or nieces doing this are next to nothing but there could be other ways you’re not mindful of how these little girls are seen. Be careful please. Not everyone is a gentlemen or moral, not to talk of a practicing Christian. Even many who claim to be couldn’t care less about that and even if they can’t commit such atrocities like rape, they sure can fantasize.

Please, do all you can to protect these kids. Even if they aren’t yours, keep your eyes open for such occurrences and prevent any harm being done.

Written by Onuora Onianwa

*Runaway Dads: The Plight of Women*

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By Michael West

The rate at which our young women are becoming single mothers is increasingly alarming. Apart from widows, it’s like we are having single moms almost at equal proportion to married women. And this unpleasant situation is a consequence of men and their irascible moral attitude. Many of them chose to be irresponsible, philandering and uncaring fathers.

I can’t count the number of single moms whose husbands just disappeared from home not because of any serious acrimony or domestic violence but because they wanted to explore their masculine potentials in a wrong way.

There are men who operate on-and-off schedule in their matrimonial homes. They stay away for days or weeks, lurking for free and available women with less or nil responsibilities to bear. Some of such men have initiated ‘secret’ family life with other women elsewhere while telling their wives they are in pursuit of business opportunities or on official tour of duty. These are men on the fringes of abandoning their homes.

Surprisingly, many of these runaway dads abandoned their homes leaving their wives with the burden of taking sole responsibility for their children. They do so with callous disposition as if it’s the right thing to do. They stopped paying the rent. They are not concerned about their children’s schooling, feeding, clothing and medicare. Any man relishing in this kind of unfatherly attitude won’t be blessed at the instance of the children.

Let’s agree they have issues with their wives and they opted out of the marriage unofficially, must they extend their grievances to the innocent children? Supposed the man is suspecting or questioning the paternity of the children, can’t he go for DNA to authenticate his claim? Leaving women alone to shoulder the heavy burden of paying the bills is very unfair, wicked and ungodly.

Some men might have different stories to tell on why they quit, it’s very possible but I insist it is sheer callousness to abandon the children. Some men have told me about their move to have the children live with them without their moms. I told them it’s pretty difficult especially if the children are still of school age. No woman would trust a ‘strange woman’ enough to occupy her space for her children while she is alive.

The way and manner some men quit the home on the pretext of prospecting for business or official trips wouldn’t encourage the women to trust them with their children. Some men had accused their wives of ‘trapping’ them with pregnancies even when they had no plans to marry at all. They might have tenable grouses with their women, yet, it’s no justifiable reason to burden the women with the sole responsibility of caring for the children.

A stock in trade with such runaway dads is that they tell lies a lot. A clearing and forwarding business magnate abandoned his wife and two children barely six years into the marriage and went on philandering. When this incident happened in 2007, he was enjoying a big boom in his business. He rented houses for a number of his girlfriends, bought expensive gifts for many of them. While the financial honeymoon lasted, he didn’t erect any building for himself. He lavished millions of naira on social life and emptiness. As you read this article, his first daughter is preparing for admission into the university while the boy is also in SS2. He couldn’t send a dime for their school fees or upkeep in the last five years. This leaves his legitimate wife stranded, struggling to cope. Meanwhile, he is hibernating in a two-bedroom apartment with an older woman who also have two children for him apart from children from other women. From this man alone, our society has five single moms who are now struggling with life issues on their own. He lied to each of them to put them in the family way.

A network marketer was abandoned by her husband shortly after she delivered her fifth child. Barely three months later, he returned home to pick some of his personal effects and left the next day. He told his bewildered wife that “your mates are out there taking good care of their men. They even appreciate the fact that they are lucky to have men around them who make them feel good. All you know is to ‘breed’ children like a pig.”

When I contacted the man, his response was so weird and funny. Hear him: “Oga, I don tire for dat woman joor. I wan enjoy ma life small. With five children, wetin I go do to feed them? I dey where I dey enjoy. You don hear am before say man dey collect money for enjoyment? Na dat kind level I dey so.”

At a relationship forum in July (Every Woman Listen! by Miahwra Miahwra), I advised parents to start grooming their boys to becoming men and from men to becoming loving, caring husbands and responsible fathers. It is not women alone that should be molded; men, too, need proper mentoring and grooming for future life. A well-groomed man won’t abuse or harm his wife. He will always have a sense of caution in his indulgences. It is then we can have a decent society that has value for home (grooming place for future leaders) and consequently reduce the spiraling incidence of young women becoming single mothers.

DON’T EVER HUG ME… HUGS ARE TOO PAINFUL, I HATE THEM…!!!

 

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It’s end of my first day of school… Miss Ugo asks us to hug each other.

I don’t like hugs because it is always always painful. I don’t know why we have to hug even in school.

I didn’t want to disobey Miss Ugo and become a bad pupil.

So I turned away from the class and began to remove my clothes.
After removing my clothes and also my pants, I looked around for a clean space to lie down.
I found a space, laid down and spread my legs wide open. I wondered why everyone is taking time to get ready for ‘hug’. Someone has to take the lead I guess.

My teacher didn’t look very pleased, judging from her expression… Some of the kids covered their faces.

“poor kids” I thought, still lying on the floor.

“they don’t even know what a hug is” I continued in my head of course.

My teacher is approaching me, she looks angry now. I could tell because her cheeks are red. My mum’s face is usually that red whenever she is Washing my body and I tell her my “Bum Bum” Is paining me. So my mum will get angry and her cheeks will turn red, sometimes she will cry and not say anything.

I don’t want my teacher to cry, so I got up. I’m beginning to get worried because I am still the only person who has no clothes on.

I still can’t understand why my whole class does not know what a hug is or how to do it.

Well this once, maybe this once I have to believe my daddy. “This is a special kind of hugs Lucy” he would say amidst sweats. “It’s only for special girls” he would continue.

Maybe I really am special.

“Here! Put on your clothes and follow me” Miss Ugo shrieked angrily.

In our proprietress’s office. I told “Big mummy” (That’s what they told us to call her) and Miss Ugo how my daddy hugs me every other night.

They were both in tears as I tell them that, the only part of hugs that I hated the most is when my daddy tries out his fingers one after the other until one fits inside my bumbum.

It’s already school over and my daddy will be mad if I don’t wait in my class like he had instructed.

Big mummy gives Miss Ugo a look, she picks up her desk phone and dials a number. Miss Ugo takes me outside and puts her arm around me… It felt so good.

“That is a hug” Miss Ugo whispers and breaks down in tears again.

“How can this be a hug? It wasn’t painful ” I thought.

My daddy is around and Miss Ugo asks him to see Big mummy. Shortly after, 2 police officers comes in and enters big mummy’s office.

I can hear myself talk from big mummy’s cell phone. I sounded so funny, I let out a light chuckle.
The police comes out of big mummy’s office with my father. His hands are tied behind his back. He looks angry. I know I am in trouble.

We didn’t go home. We went to the hospital in big mummy’s car. Miss Ugo was beside me the whole time until the Doctor asks me to follow him. He removes my pant, collects torchlight from the nurse and looks into my bum bum. I closed my eyes expecting pains but he doesn’t put his fingers inside. He puts off the light and talks to the nurse who jots down what he said. He helps me wear my pant and takes me back to meet big mummy and miss Ugo.

Back in Big Mummy’s car, miss Ugo calls out our address for Big mummy.

We get to my house and my mum comes out. She doesn’t say anything as usual. She just brings out a big placard that reads “I AM DEAF and ALSO DUMB”

Big mummy and miss Ugo started crying again. I have had enough so I joined them to cry and my mum followed suit.
SAD STORY OF A MOLESTED CHILD!
Let’s protect our girl child
😔😔😔

 

#EveryWomanListen! MEMORABLE QUOTES…

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MEMORABLE QUOTE…

Were you absent at the July edition of #EveryWomanListen!?

Or, you made it to the hangout?

Ok. Whichever of the group you belong, here is a quote from one of our panelists, Mr. Michael Awe who is a relationship counsellor.

Let’s give this a try. And abuse of women will be a thing of the past in our society.

Good morning. And have a fabulous day ahead!

ABOMINATION! RAPIST LATER PROPOSES TO HIS VIRGIN-VICTIM…

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Where idiot who said that a wet woman is a compliant woman? Please tag him on this. Thanks.

I would like to share my story concerning the ongoing say no to rape campaign.

Please hide my Id and post ma, I trust you thou.

It all happened on June 12,2014. I was 20 years old then. I used to have a friend who lives not too far from my house with her family. It was a family of 7 , the dad , mom , her elder brother , my friend and her 2younger sisters.

I wanted to visit that my friend since its been a while I heard from , I tried her number , it wasn’t going . So I felt everyone including her sisters who are still in secondary school would be at home since it was June 12 , a public holiday dedicated to Late MKO Abiola.

I dressed up that morning around 11. I knocked the gate , her elder brother came to open the door. I greeted him and asked when did he arrive from where he was serving? He said last night that he is very sick that was why he came home. I asked of my friend and he said she is inside.

I walked into their sitting room boldly as it wasn’t my first time of visiting . I greeted ‘ E kaaro oo’ thinking their parents especially their mom might be home because she is a nurse .

Aunty Bunmi, I met the absence of nobody. I wanted to call her elder brother but he was right behind me , I said but you told me my friend is at home. He looked at me from head to toe, I started feeling uncomfortable. I told him I wanted to leave. Getting to the door , it was locked …then I knew I was done for that day.

He moved close to me and said today is D -day,he said he must start a relationship with him today. I forgot to tell you he asked me out and I told him I can’t date because I see a brother.

He repeated , today is D-day, I began to cry. Shouting and screaming for help but no one could hear because he increased the volume of the music he was listening to before I came in. We were still in their sitting room.

He dragged me into his room and pushed me on the bed. I begged him with tears , I told him I have never done this before, I told him I was a virgin. Aunty Bunmi . He said Yes , that would make me date and marry him because we ladies don’t forget who deflower us easily.

I bite him but how can someone like me escape from someone who has a similar stature with Uncle Hymar Idible David , he was hefty. I kept struggling with him. Within some seconds , Aunty Bunmi I was naked. He removed everything on me , he behaved like an animal. I still continued struggling with him when he stood up from the bed , I was glad, I stood up immediately naked but with my clothes , got to his door , it was locked. I turned back to see him with his Ankara trousers,about 2 or 3. He pushed me to the bed again and tied my hand to the burglary of the window. He gave me blows on my arm and thigh , Aunty Bunmi, I became weak. I couldn’t move. I kept crying. He started romancing me and the idiot said I was wet , that I’m enjoying the touches ,that is why I was wet.

Aunty Bunmi , he finally had his way. He saw the blood and he started weeping . He swore to marry me that he never believed I was a Virgin..That he would have allowed me go if he knew I was truly a virgin.

I started cursing him, he slapped me ,beat me and threw me out to their sitting room with my clothes. I wore my clothes there and left for a sister that I trust very well. I explained things to her , she said the best thing is to keep shut because people will blame me for going there in the first place , she called my parent that I won’t be coming home that day. She gave me drugs and made sure I was very okay before going back home. I got home and packed my things and left for school since I only came home for break. He never told my friend I came and I just couldn’t explain all that happened but since then , I started avoiding my friend.

Up till now , I feel so hurt. I still feel the pains. He later came to beg me with a marriage proposal but I said never . I will never marry an abuser. Those moments are still fresh in my memory. Till now, I live in shame, I live in pains.

#iSpeakOut.

And that was how I lost my virginity to someone I had no feelings for . I would be glad if you can post

By Olu Bunmi